Soul Search Day #1

As of lately, I've been feeling mediums of existentialism. I feel like I'm doing a lot of things with no exact purpose. With that said, Ryan suggested I try "soul searching" to slow down and see where I am going.

"Where I go, I just don't know

I got to got to gotta take it slow

When I find my piece of mind

I'm gonna give you some of my good time"

However, there is one facet in life that I know is important by default: Not taking life too seriously. BUT i don't want to live vacuously either. So equilibrium is key, but easier said than done.

Love,

Lainey Pie

September

Fall is here.
I'm more busy than usual.
Waking up early makes me feel busy.
When I'm busy, I don't think too much.

I finally got a job.
It's okay.
People are nice, so far.
But people have their days.

Back at the baby lab.
It's okay, too.
People are nice, so far.
But people have their days.

I don't have passion.
What is passion, anyways?
Sometimes you can like something a lot.
And then you don't.
So what is passion without consistency?

... beats me.

ive been thinking about some things

~ eat pray love is a cute movie. nice to see a movie on life re-evaluation
~ i work now! at a threading boutique... pending on how i feel about it
~ i wanted to update with pictures, but blogspot seems to take forever to load... so if u have a fb, see pics there!

~ matisyahu is jewishly reggae
~ going to movies alone is possible
~ girls are more attractive when they ovulate
~ homosexuals make light of things

enjoy...

1. FIRST NAME: elaine or lainey or vagina breath
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? yeah the chick from seinfield
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? i never cry
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? yes, i can write like comic sans if i wanted to
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? fishheads... and turkey
6. KIDS? bongkweesha but her baby daddys in prison for laziness
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? yes i am disgustingly awesome
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? yes i write about what i hate, then shred it a couple of months later
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? is this a trick question
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? yes over and over again till my dopamine levels became immune to it
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? cheerios with almond milk and fat free milk with slices of hearty potassium
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? i wear flip flops braddah
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? everytime i shoot up steroids
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? cumcream
16. SHOE SIZE? seven point five
17. RED OR PINK? red mushroom tips and pink tacos
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? im perfect
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? i don't miss, i accept
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? you get a bj if you do
21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? gray yoga pants and white socks
22. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? tofu and steamed fish
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? tomorrows bad seeds
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? a mosaic one
25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL? babies they smell edible
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE TO ON THE PHONE? some guy from the recruiter place
27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? hygiene, confidence, presentable, happy
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? he deserves an honorable mention
27. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? h2o and vodka tonics
30. FAVORITE SPORT? doggy style
31. HAIR COLOR? black with bad streaks of brown from my last color job
32. EYE COLOR? dark brown
33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? yes i am blind in my right eye
34. FAVORITE FOOD? anything that looks like vomit
35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? realistic endings
36. What is the last movie you watched? despicable me without a despicable dude (jk... no i not jk...)
37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? bluish gray (and no bra and semi hard nipples)
38. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer in socal, winter in vegas
39. HUGS OR KISSES? grizzly bear hugs and sloppy kisses
40. FAVORITE DESSERT? everything
41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? god
42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND: god
43. WHAT BOOK(S) ARE YOU READING? gre prep book
44. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? too cool for that
45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? youporn from ryans stash
46. FAVORITE SOUNDS? sloppy eaters, i esp. love it when they bite their utensils
47. ROLLING STONE OR BEATLES? strawberry fields forever!
48. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? hawaii
49. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? special is subjective
50. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? 11131987 @ honolulu hawaii at the tripler hospital in the island of oahu
51. DO YOU LIKE TO COOK? id like to learn to incorporate a diversified amount of veggies into my meals
52. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU FIRST MARRIED? pending

~ saw katchafire & tomorrows bad seeds last night with erika and ryan. awww hanging out with people i love, let the good times roll ha ha
~ back to baby lab in a month, feels nice to know that i'll be productive again
~ so addicted to cheese cheeto jalapenos right now
~ i am hyrax-less... was a pain in the process, but now i can touch the roof of my mouth!
~ job hunt is still a hunt, the real world is not in my favor right now :(

well today was an epic fail job interview. oh well, i still have that front desk agent lady left and im going to forget about that barista job.

watched a movie called 13 conversations about one thing today. finally finished it, i saw the beginning like 3 times ha ha ha. if it wasn't for the ending id give it no stars (or sushi rolls). but because of the essence of the stories im giving it some credible props.

i got my bracket fixed today, that was some quick brace job! and got some pizza with ryan which was nice because i dont see him as much as before.

anyways, back to meandering thru netflix!

more random musings

~ well, the upsides of getting interviews is that i get to familiarize myself with streets and better myself with directions that i wouldnt have otherwise known if i didn't have to drive so much!
~ landed my 11th interview tomorrow, we'll see how that goes! guy seemed really cool and antsy for a new student worker since his current one is saying adios
~ i have cute purple toes or as erika likes to say "grape toes"
~ one of my brackets came off and i have a bad habit of shifting it from side to side
~ i want a new phone along with other aesthetically pleasing things
~ to be continued

3 consecutive days of interviews and now i have to wait for 3 phone calls by this week. pretty cool i guess.

just finished running and biking. good day, everyday is a good day. or atleast id like them to be. but then again its all perspective so matter-of-factly, everything can be a good day.

random musings:
~ im having school withdrawals :( i miss school. school supplies are already on sale and im sad i wont partake on this event at all this year
~ todays interview: existentialism > twilight
~ happy almost birthday to my baby brother!
~ ive had panda express for the past 3 days, i think today was the last

the end!

just came back from hoobastank and i need to shower.

job interview #8 was held today. and #9 on saturday. there's an open interview tomorrow at some place and im thinking of going to it too.

life right now is stagnant. im used to progessing/moving towards something. but now, it's stagnant. not saying its bad. it is what it is.

oh and fuck you pill im never taking you again. feelin better than i have in awhile, emotionally that is.

well its been awhile, hello blogspot.

im a college graduate now and in search of a job/career/what have you. i have my 8th job interview this thursday at the human bean. i feel a bit embarrased because college graduates arent baristas, but i guess it wouldnt hurt to try something new.

things with ryan are okay. i dont really know what we are but i guess im supposed to enjoy the ride. and enjoying the ride while youre 22 young is a good idea. because like what summer said, "I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later." and paradoxically, in the end of the movie she falls in love with another boy. bravo life!

anyways, off to do something special for ryan. lol i hope he likes his anniversary shizzz.

There is no point to making much ado about nothing.

Homo-credulus

After 5 years, this is what college taught me:

1. Be skeptic and humble.

2. Don't think just do.

3. Don't resent or spew.

4. Filter everything you say.

5. When you're falling, dive.

6. There will always be suffering.

7. Simply relax.

8. Be malleable.

9. You can't believe everything you think.

10. Nothing really makes sense.

Albeit the impracticality of being a Psychology major, I think it fits me. And plus it's too late to change now ha ha.

That which is at rest is easy to grasp.

Impermanence is part of the human condition.

Drink a cup of tea. Don't think about drinking a cup of it--just drink it. Taste it. Feel it. Enjoy it. That is experience beyond thought.

We live to forget.

This is my last semester at UNLV! 14 more weeks and then I am freeeee.